New Orleans Odyssey

The advantage to working for an airline is you can really do some innovative trips. The disadvantage to working for an airline is you have to be like a Girl Scout and be prepared for the unexpected...like not being able to get on a plane to get to where your trip should start.

So that was how it came to be for my daughter's spring break, we decided to finally go to New Orleans. Why New Orleans? It seemed to be the only place not snowing that particular week in the continental US.

All week leading up to this eventful trip, I frantically tried to figure out how we would get there. Finally, after seeing almost all flights were full, we would fly to Houston and drive. It's only a 5 hour drive, right? Wrong. It's actually 7 hours.

I could even live with that but the night before we were to leave, the flights to Houston were full. That's when I had the brilliant idea of flying to Dallas instead. It's only a 7 hour drive to New Orleans from there, right? Wrong. It's actually 9 hours.

Now you add my sister, Terrell, antique dealer extraordinaire, to the mix and you have the trio of women that have no qualms about driving a ridiculous amount of time to get from point A to point B. To top it off...we also don't have a problem being lost for the majority of the time. In fact, when we reach somewhere in a rather timely manner, my sister and I are quite befuddled. My daughter, who is usually reading in the backseat, will occasionally exclaim "Thank goodness we have finally found the Giant Catsup bottle (or whatever)" when we reach it.

Back to the big road trip. First, you have to overpack because that's just what we do. Not to the degree our mom used to...ironing, folding and then putting tissue paper between layers of clothes (they will never wrinkle, she used to say). Our form of packing is bring as many suitcases as you can possibly carry since you never know what we will end up buying to bring home (see above reference to my sister).

We schlep along six suitcases to the airport (three are empty) and check them in at the ticket counter. The advantage to working for the airlines is you can check your bags free.

And now it's off to the gate...Debbie (that's me) has to socialize with the agents working the flight and anyone else I might know in the gate area. We are thrilled to get on the plane in the same row and we're off. We have a Dollar rental car ready for us and a garmin (we call Miss Carmen) to guide us plus maps of Texas and Louisiana.

When we reach Dallas, we actually quickly found our luggage and despite coordination deficit disorder, could drag them all to the rental car van. We found the rental car counter (no line) and voila! We had upgraded to a bigger car (see reference to possible heavy buying above) and we were on our way. At this point Terrell and I were both baffled as things had gone so well (it usually takes us several tries to navigate out of the airport area).

Since we are in Dallas, I point out that just a mere hour away are four giant people I would like to see in Gainesville. I must tell you I love these giant people...most of them nicknamed "Muffler Men." I had read about this place in Gainesville that had a muffler man, Uniroyal Gal and two Big Johns all together. I was almost giddy with anticipation. I had never seen a Uniroyal Gal or Big John in person.

My daughter, Carly, and Terrell, did not share my enthusiasm for this adventure. However, since I cleverly pointed out on the map how we could just cut across Texas from Gainesville to Louisiana, we wouldn't lose much time at all, they agreed. Actually, they didn't have much choice since I was the driver. I just wanted to have their support.

Of course, on the way we saw a store none of us had ever seen before...Condoms To Go. We did not stop. Instead, we took several u-turns to get to the Antique Experience in Denton. Terrell, although not overly fond of this mall, managed to buy stuff. It also had a restaurant...rather hoytie toytie...where I bought Carly a side fruit dish and took it out to her in the car. Carly's reaction was typical. "Is Auntie T done yet?"

Although the Antique Experience wasn't that great of an experience, Terrell was on a roll. She was determined to find more antiques before sunset.


Next stop...Glenn Goode's fiberglass business in Gainesville. Sure enough, the ultimate giant people experience for me were waving to me from the field in front of Glenn's business. After I pulled in and parked, I quickly got out of the car. I couldn't believe it. Four of these giants in one place. And, Glenn Goode himself came out of his house to greet us. He told us stories of how the Uniroyal Gal was based on Jackie Kennedy (and she does look like her) and how he bought this muffler man for $5 after spotting him on the side of a road. He even told us how to properly mount a Muffler Man so it won't topple during a storm (actually more information than we needed). He offered to show us the fiberglass molds he has for the Muffler Man, but we declined.

Most people don't know that the original Muffler Man was made to look like a lumberjack for a Paul Bunyan restaurant in Flagstaff, Arizona in the early 1960's. Eventually Muffler Men spread around the country, adorning different outfits and looks (ranging from Indians, pirates, cowboys to football players) depending on the business. One of the most famous Muffler Men is the Gemini Giant, complete with spacesuit and rocket, in front of the Launching Pad Cafe in Wilmington, Illinois. A great website to check out for the locations of the Muffler Men and Uniroyal Gals is roadsideamerica.com.